Dear February

This was one of the coolest projects that I’ve ever tried! Although I do not make a card and write every day I sure miss it. I thought about making a card one morning this week as I drove to work. The moon was big and bright and full. It inspires me. The beauty of it all invades my consciousness. Ordinary thoughts and worries seem to disappear as I quietly experience the awe of the moment. An artist or writer can only hope to capture a sliver of this amazing sight.
I didn’t make a card. Not that day. Not today. I’ve stayed occupied with writing and a Ceramics class at the college. I recently wrote a story about a couple who have been married for over 60 years. What a treasure it was to interview them! I will post that sometime this week and maybe I will even get motivated enough to make a Valentine’s themed card. I’ve already been given a pre-VDay gift… it’s a Pandora bracelet. Each charm has a special meaning.
Love and be loved.
It’s the best part of this life!

01-07-2012

Going, going, gone! 2011 is in the history books and the first week of 2012 draws to an end! I couldn’t quite decide what to do about my Artist Journal Cards project. It was a rewarding accomplishment to create a card and write for every single day for an entire year but it is not a discipline I care to continue. However, there’s this huge void of time in each day where I sat in my art room to create and write! New habits are in place. Even though I am not continuing this daily ritual I find myself looking for the positive in each day. I’m actually thinking and walking forward with intent and purpose instead of just letting life happen to me, so I’ve decided to continue my blog. I’ll write periodically as it fits comfortably into my routine. If I have something of particular interest or some Big Thought I want to exorcise I’ll make a card and post something. The target I will aim for is once a week but this is not set in stone. There will be nuggets of life lost along the way as I am enjoying my freedom from daily posts. If you check the history of people who did great things you will find that most of them kept a journal. It’s a good practice whether or not you become somebody famous. Looking over my Site Stats I admit that I probably read my blog more than anybody else. That’s okay because this project was for me and it has accomplished what I had hoped it would… and then some.
I’ve had family staying with me this week; my oldest son Jeremiah, his wife Julia and my two grandchildren Mason (5yrs) and Makenna (22months). It’s been an awesome week! My art card documents our day at the Houston Zoo. We had perfect weather that started out cool, climbing almost to 70 degrees. The animals were out and active.

Having little ones in the house brought back all kinds of good memories. I revisited my role as mom and I wondered all week, “How did I do this before?” It’s a lot of work but the smiles and hugs fuel the efforts. I am so out of shape. Just carrying a little one around on my hip while putting a meal together was a reminder that I am now Grandma; not a young mom anymore. I feel like I’ve spent the week picking some of the sweet fruits of life that only ripen after years of blood, sweat and tears.
I’ve been off work all week and will return to my normal routine Tuesday. Looking over the goals that I set and wrote down for 2011 I can see that I accomplished about half of what I set out to do. (This blog/journal card project, spend Mother’s Day with my mother in Oregon, write for a magazine/published) One or two things I will continue to pursue. (Artist-in-Residence position) I may have to rethink and abandon at least one of my previous goals. (visit Jeremiah in Italy) Do you set goals? It seems like a good idea to me. I’m adding a couple of new things for 2012. I intend to lose between 30 and 40lbs and take a class at Lee College. There are a couple of things I’m debating about. Do I want to continue the online certification classes to become a Creativity Coach? Do I want to take piano lessons in 2012? When we say we intend to accomplish something by specifically writing it down as a goal it is more likely to happen. Goals must be realistic or they will only discourage you. Setting a goal causes us to focus our energy. You must do your part and then let go and allow things to happen as they were meant to.

Happy 2012! The best is yet to come!

Benedictions

Benediction seems like an old-fashioned word. You don’t hear it very often. A benediction is an invocation of divine blessing; an expression of good wishes. I grew up hearing benedictions spoken at the end of church services. The preacher would raise one or both hands and speak words such as these, “The Lord bless thee and keep thee: the Lord make his face shine upon thee, and be gracious unto thee: the Lord lift up his countenance upon thee and give thee peace.” As 2011 comes to a close a benediction seems to be in order. In less than an hour my guests for the evening will be arriving. My husband, Jerry, has been making things ready. We have a campfire to light and enjoy as soon as it starts to get dark. A trip to the fireworks stand is on the agenda. Jerry’s friend, Kurt is already here. Abi is here. Soon Jeremiah (my oldest son) will be here. His wife and two kids are coming also and they will all stay at my house until Thursday. All too soon they will return to Italy! My two oldest daughters will also be coming with their husbands and children. I will have all six of my grandchildren here this evening! There are little sausages simmering in the crockpot with barbque sauce, wassail in the other crockpot, and we cooked quinoa; concocting several new recipes for this evening. There are fresh asparagus wrapped in meats and cheeses. We’ve put together an assortment of chips, dips and snacks. Later we will enjoy a  build-your-own Sundae feast. What a wonderful way to end 2011 and welcome a new year! This benediction of family time seems like a good omen for the year ahead. We go from one season of life into another and the older we get the more we realize that nothing is forever. Levi and Alex won’t be home this year! I am prone to feel sad about that but something is wrong with the picture if your kids do not grow up and go out into the world to embrace their own destiny! I will miss Alex and Levi tonight but I am proud of them both and I know we will all be together again when the time is right. Yes, nothing is forever and the only thing we can be sure of is that things will change. I started out this morning reflecting on the changes that have come in one year’s time. There’s a beginning, a middle and an end to all things; to lives, to jobs, to seasons of life… to this year. I’m looking back to see if I was engaged in the adventure of it all. It hurts for some things to end and so we may want to pull inside instead of giving of ourselves completely. We learn things in increments. At one point we start to realize that life is a journey, not a destination. Then one day we think, “I AM the journey.” You’ve heard many of the things I say. They’ve been said by many other people in many different ways. I’ve been playing a DVD I just bought yesterday, “Adele, Live at The Royal Albert Hall.” Her journey has not been easy but look where she is today! There’s something about a person who is willing to be authentic. They inspire us.

This is the end of my Artist Journal Card blogging journey. I’ve stretched and grown and I hope my effort to be authentic has come through. I’ve tried to see the positive side in each day. Some days I don’t think I did a very good job of that. We laugh. We cry. We LIVE. I have done a lot of living this year and my journey as an artist and a writer have been enhanced by this journaling project. My final card was cut from a Christmas card from my friend and coworker, Raime. “H” came from the word “holidays” but I also chose to focus on it since my last name is “Harper”. I’ve added wings to my “H” and collaged words of benediction . “H” as we know it today is flying away. It will change. It will be different tomorrow. I will be different tomorrow.

Blessings. I wish for you blessings and peace and love.
Thograinn Thograinn
Thograinn therein bhith dol dhachaidh.

Adjustments

Even though I had the day off from work my morning started at 5:30am. I met my brother in town at 6am for breakfast. We have done this before. It is something that we have both made time for in 2011 that we had not attempted in the past. If we try, it is a reasonable goal to meet once a month in spite of my brother’s rotating shift and my weird early morning job. I’m so glad that this has become somewhat of a priority for both of us! Our last two breakfasts have turned into 3 hour visits. I have no sisters and only this one younger brother. As we get older that connection seems more important to me. I think it was always very important and our lives would have been richer if we had tried to visit more often but most people do not slow down and think about such things when they are young. Part of this day was spent shopping and running errands with my daughter, Abi. We are preparing for a family gathering at the house tomorrow evening for New Year’s Eve and also trying to get her supplies for her next semester of college. I will be off work for about a week. My son, Jeremiah, and his family will be staying with us for several days before returning to Italy. At the end of next week Abi will fly out of town for a week and when she returns it will be time to get he back to school. In the blink of an eye I’m going to find myself right in the middle of January 2012! See how time flies?
This Journal Card has been one of media exploration. I wanted to layer part of an old song on top of a Christmas card scene. In order for the paper to be transparent enough for the scene to show through I used an oil-based product called Res-n-gel. My experiment turned into a bit of a mess and the fumes gave me a headache but it’s all good. It’s a learning experience. The scene on my card shows two people walking across a bridge. The title of the song is “Why Do You Wait?”. There are too many thoughts churning around from my visit with my brother to put them all together right now but this song is a reminder to me and to you that you should not wait too long to act on those things that are important My brother and I talked about many things. He suggested that I rent a movie called, “The Adjustment Bureau”. I picked it up at our local rental place and I watched it this evening with my husband and Abi. We all agreed, it’s one of the best and most thought-provoking movies we’ve ever seen. It was very good! This movie fits several genres but primarily most would think of it as Science Fiction. You can’t watch it without feeling a sense of inspiration and hope. Don’t get me wrong, this is not a “feel good” Chick-flick type drama movie. It’s full of action, adventure and might even be categorized as a thriller. Yes, there’s some romance too and so I’d have to say I think there’s something for everyone in this movie. Well, it’s not a kid movie. It’s very entertaining but it’s a movie that makes you think too. Are you giving thought to your life on a day-to-day basis as if you had no choice about which direction you will go? Do you believe that God has a plan; that there is some kind of predetermined destiny for you or do you just think life is all a matter of chance? If you are one who believes in Fate, will you accept your destiny or are you willing to fight to write your own destiny? Whew! Maybe you didn’t want to think any deep thoughts at all right now! Just go rent the movie and enjoy it. I have to say, I think it’s a good choice for a cozy night-at-home rental movie and an excellent pick if you are staying in for New Year’s Eve. As I come to the end of 2011 and the end of this blog project I am reflecting on the adjustments I’ve made. There’s been lots of good ones! It was my intention to think about each day and that has resulted in making time for some things that really matter. I hope you will do the same!

Rebuild

Yesterday it was very cold in the morning but the sun came out and it turned out to be a beautiful day. I glanced longingly down the hall and considered going outside to walk but I never made it out there. Today was another gorgeous day. It was cool but the sun was shining. My soul yearns for fresh air, for the healing balm of nature’s mysterious tonic. In the midst of my work day I ducked outside and walked slowly around the jogging path. When was the last time I walked? I couldn’t remember! Obviously, too long. Did I stop walking because we were too busy, because it was too cold and rainy? I’m not sure. My eyes feasted on the vibrant colors of fallen leaves. The trees are bare and the grass is brown yet the red, orange and golden leaves awaken my thirst for life. I know that this bit of exercise and beauty will help me rebuild my strength. I’ve been starving myself of the essentials needed for a healthy body, spirit and soul. Do you ever get so busy and so frantic that you forget to eat ? Our bodies eventually remind us to stop and take in some nourishment. It is the same with spirit and soul. We do not recognize the hunger pangs of spirit. You may feel embarrassed if your stomach growls because you have not eaten yet today but do you even recognize the sound of an empty spirit? I think we can train ourselves to see and hear and know when it is time to pull away and find that place of peace. Sometimes it takes something drastic before we realize how depleted we’ve become. I go through cycles of making time to just sit with myself daily. If only for 15 minutes if I can sit quietly and just listen this somehow causes me to be more attentive to the flow of life and what I need. It is a good thing to be at peace. Rebuild your spirit. Be at peace.

Drama

Some days just have “DRAMA” written all over them! In spite of the beautiful scene that one may predict there’s drama lurking beneath the surface. The day passes in a frenzy. I’ve had one too many days like that lately. It’s all water under the bridge. At least it is all water under the bridge at some point. When there’s a string of those days you just do the best you can to make it through. You reach out to others (sometimes) and hope for help. Sometimes help comes and sometimes you are alone. Stress has a way of draining you of your energy like nothing else. I came home from work; soaked in a bubble bath and then stretched out on my bed “for just a minute”. I looked at the clock and it was 5pm so I said to myself, “Self, you will just close your eyes for 30 minutes.” At 3:30am my alarm went off and it’s the next day and it’s time for work. No dinner. No dreams, good or bad. Sheer exhaustion. One more day behind me. A new day ahead. Yes, a NEW day ahead. A better day.

extremes

When I left for work this morning it was cold and dark. The temps were in the 30’s and I could not seem to bundle up enough and get warm because the dampness went through my layers, striking right to my bones. This is about as extreme as I can stand for winter climate. I look at the beautiful winter scenes depicted on Christmas cards and I find it hard to believe that I could enjoy much of that. Snow is fun for a day or two. I don’t think of myself as a person who embraces the idea of extremes but in reality I have to admit that I am probably the type who is either very high or very low. Maybe it’s all a matter of perspective. Do you favor living on a mountaintop? If a storm rolls in suddenly it could be that you feel like you are in a pit but maybe it’s not that way at all. Maybe it’s just that you can’t see through the extreme snow that is falling all around you. Maybe you even get struck by lightening. That doesn’t mean you have been knocked off the mountaintop. It just means that you are in pain and you sure as hell do not feel like you are on top of it all at the moment. Bundle up. Look up. You are very close to heaven when you are on the mountaintop. Don’t forget that. Even though you can’t see it or feel it, don’t forget it. I’m talking to myself here, you know. Remember when the weather is clear the view is magnificent. How easy it is to forget this. Will you sing? Sing from that mountaintop so that you will be heard by those who are making their journey in your direction. Your song stirs our hearts and like a beam of light through the dark storm our soul yearns for something more. Something better. I’ve chosen another Christmas card scene and I’ve cut my shape and embellished it with gold thread. I sew back and forth; back and forth. The rhythmic stitching soothes my soul. The light inside the house illuminates the snowy scene. It must be really cold there yet our perception is one of warmth and coziness. We smile like the snowman in the scene and imagine happy people inside that home. They are probably drinking hot cocoa and opening gifts. Back and forth. Back and forth. I am sewing this extreme winter scene in gold threads. Its beauty is one of perspective.